Roger was a: Airborne Ranger in the 75th regiment of the US Army
His fellow soldiers would better remember him for there brush of near death together in the Vietnam War. Roger and the rest of his plutone were were alerted by there Pointman of a ambush. Most of the crew went into shock as Roger started yelling to his fellow soldiers "get to cover"! Roger not only carried the big 60 gunner machine gun but he was also the radio operator. With the enemy forces pushing closer and his plotune facing near death he took a big risk in most peoples eyes but in his it wasn't even a second thought to expose his head and body, as he pulled out that big 60 gunner and lay down cover fire so his fellow soldiers could get to cover. I remember seeing him go into tears as he shared told his story. He was nearly in a flash back as he told me a rocket flew over his head while his troops pulled him down saving his life in return. Quickly after they were yelling at him GET DOWN! GET DOWN!. He was back on that 60 gunner where he killed and unconfirmed amount of soldiers. He was a big fella 6'3" tall but to me he looked as big as the ifetower, as rapped my arm's around my fathers's leggs telling him "it's okay P'a you don't have to say anymore I will never ask you about it again. it took him a few moment's to snap out of it he was sweating outside of the bowling alley we went to then he hugged me back and said it's okay son I love you.
About 20 years later I was on my way back to work release job at burger king. I will never forget to this day looking at what police later identified as paint on window in his front door. I just knew it was blood at the time and after yelling his name a third time I didn't hesitate to kick the door open. I ran in the house to find my father laying on the ground dead at approximately 11pm, wednesday, march 22nd 2017. He was 66 years old at the time of death yet the wichita PD decided an autopsy was unnecessary. I won't elaborate on that.
But I will say after all those years spent with my father I never knew the full details of that short but very important story. Neither did any of my family but after hi death I got a call from my brother Cody Barbe who read the rest of the story to me and filled in the details on the first part. After his close encounter with death and pushing the enemy's back, he was able to gain composure and radio in air support. Which lead to the evacuation of his men and the reward Of a Bronze star for his services in the United States Army.
I write about this not only in honor of my father and every soldier who fought for our vary freedom. But also to inform you no matter what you see on the outside you have no idea what that person is dealing with on the inside. My father's death opened my eyes to that more than anything. As my family and I grew up thinking he was crazy. Most people would become upset when they heard he was coming to a thanksgiving or christmas dinner and just leave, others would hope for the best. I would always embrace him and when he got out of line my brother or myself would have to talk him down. Then he would leave angry. My father always left me very perplexed. I never took the time to truly understand him. He was treated by many ungrateful doctors a nurses at the VA, who were just like me; blind to the real issue at hand. My dad was 18 years old when that incident occurred. He was was given a honorable discharge from the army. He was quickly put on meds and wanted to be part of his family raising his two boys and two more that my mother had with her first husband who passed away in her late 20's. The failure to be able to be around our family with out blowing up. Would put him thru depression on top of his PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. He would also experience very severe anxiety when stuck in a room for to long around others. But he kept trying fighting and struggling to be apart of his family. I later learned from my mom Theda Barbe that during the family counseling classes he encouraged us to attended that my mother had refused to go as she was blamed for the enabling her children and as she stated just about everything else. None the less shortly after years of failed attempts my father turned to drugs.
I believe everyone is responsible for there own actions as well as any repercussions that may come from them. But if I would have known what I known now I would have done allot more to be in my father's life. As one of my best buds and my mothers Boyfriend Ron Archer would say "well if my ant had ball's she would be my uncle lol. The point is I could have done more research and insisted on counseling. Who knows what the out come would have been. I know my dad and I were always drunk or high when we were together. But just 6 months after his death I was clean and sober and still am to this day. I believe that I could of changed allot in myself. I know that wouldn't have changed a thing in him. But I would have done it anyway because it sure the hell would have inspired him to. It would have taken the reason to seek joy instead of loneliness. which was a hard thing to do as my dad had a personality much like mine which for some reason only attracts drug addicts. In addition to my sobriety I have went from being surrounded by friends. To Spending a life With my children and not even as much as knock on a door from a friend. Nor have I stepped out of my house for anything other than for the occasional trip to the grocery store. I really hope anyone with the honor of having a veteran as friend or family member, realises the opportunity they have not only to return a favor to those who laid there life on the line so we may live ares free. But to also engage and overcome a problem that will reward you with more self control and understanding ever.
I remember my Dad telling me more than once if it wasn't for his my brother and I he would already be dead. I can relate to that very well now every time my kids were ripped from my life so was my purpose in life. Unlike my father I now have the privilege of raising my kids. I used to think I would be dead before I ever reached the age of 30. I received my first felony at age 14 for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon after 3 kids pulled a gun out on me and took it from them then emptied the bullets and pointed it at the kid asking him if he had any last words then pulling the trigger. the kid had some wet pant's and I had a new gun for 30 minutes until I herd a knock on my door. I was unsure of who it was. So assumed it was the kids and the gang they claimed to be in there to take there gun back. I could not see threw the window on my door and opened up the door pointing a 22 caliber derringer at the police. That resulted in a year in jail and allot of anger towards the police. I quickly picked up bad friends and used my favorite subject in school Math; to become a drug dealer and by the age of 16 I was sitting at home with $6,000+ dollars in my pocket and any thing I wanted. I decided to take home schooling and graduated at age 16 as well. Then one night I remember crying after seeing who my friends had became. I felt as if I was to blame for who they had become. So I prayed to god for a girl that would come into my life, who would be god fearing and lead me away from the addicting life of fast money. The very next day I met the mother of my children. I don't believe anyone will or can ever prove the bible right or wrong but the one thing I do know is my life has been saved by unexplainable miracles time and time again. I have had guns pulled on me, stabbed, shot at, jumped several times and was almost killed in prison after seeing stars from haymaker my left eye received. This guy had spent 5+ years lifting waits in prison and caught me off guard splashing my blood all over the wall with that punch. But some how I was able to land a very quick jab that would knock this guy down in one punch saving my life. There was no way I could have done that alone and that happened more than once in my life. I wanted vengeance on the whoever killed my father. I knew the police department well from my life of crime and saw the corruption first hand. After hearing the cops tell me they were not going to investigate his death. I made a decision that would forever change my life. I had already fought against crime, human trafficking to be exact but never with the police. So I decided I was going to work with them in not only an attempt to find my dads aggressor but also to be apart of the war on human trafficking and the meth that came with those people. in short I had a death wish, my kids were gone after being taken from the school they were in by there mother. Which the school was specifically order not to even allow contact with my kids, my dad had died and I had already lost a son. I was facing issues with depression, Rage, PTSD, and facing 2 years in jail for traffic violations and escape after my probation officer went out of her way to obtain a court order that I be placed on a 72 hr hold as my father's death made me at a flight risk. So I ran and obtained escape charges. Since the death of my son I had not been the same but felt as if I had not an issue in the world. Then people came to kill me and my life changed. I had a knock on my door that was expected and I answered by acting as a nerd then slamming into the door and greeting 2 strangers who were now on the ground and 1 a girl who was staring down the barrel of a .357 magnum. Those people were sent there to kill me and the text messages in the phone scared me for the first time in my life. I wasn't worried about myself but my family. So I planned to leave which took me about 5 months. In that time I had people come in groups of 3's 4's or even one at a time. Always when I least expected it. But some how no matter how many guns were pulled there was only one incident were I got wounded. My former best friend had stabbed me. The incident took place on taft and west street in wichita kansas. He saw me at a stop light and I told him to get in the back. but he came to the front were I thought he looked upset and I assumed he was going to give me a hug. But a knife in his hand said otherwise and by the grace of god I was able to catch his arm before being stabbed in the stomach. then a fight broke out and when connecting with a strong left hook to his face my arm literally ran into his knife. I bled like a stuck pig with my mom driving me back to my house. I grabbed a towel rapped it up and tightened a belt over my arm stopping the wound from bleeding.
You know with everything I have been threw no license, felony's on my record, ptsd, anxiety and depression issues you would think that my kids would be more fit in another environment. Most people thought that about my dad to. But while I was in school that was his only concern. Like now while I am with my kids that is our only concern. My kids get straight A's, can build websites, have there own youtube channels and enjoy there life filled with problems they get to overcome. We work on them together smile laugh and have a great time as well as have are down times like anyone else. I don't know why I felt the need to write all this but I think I am done now.
